Living in Valdrada was not easy. As he woke up with the rising sun, he could already see a flash-forward of the rest of his day playing in his head. As he looked at his reflection in the lake stretching and getting out of bed, in his mind he could also see it two steps ahead, brushing his teeth and a few hours later walking down the railed street to meet his lover.
He had just woken up but he was so tired. He was tired of constantly knowing what was coming. He was tired of being so aware of his actions and of thinking so much about what he was doing, how he looked while he was doing it and how the world could see him. His mind was racing at the speed of light and he could not stop it even for a breath. He knew that the sacred lake of Valdrada had no mercy. It would reflect his every action. But it could also reflect his deepest thoughts and feelings. Nothing was private. That bothered him so much. For as long as he remembers, he’d never had a reckless moment or a private thought. Even as a young boy, he never did something silly like stealing candy from his mother’s jar because he knew that everyone could see it in the lake.
The voice of his conscience was the loudest voice in his head and the only one he listened to. What this voice didn’t tell him was that everyone in the city was experiencing the same thing. They would have care about how he looked in the lake but they were too engrossed looking at themselves, thinking about their own actions and concerned about how they looked in the lake. The sad part was none of them realized that this was a trap they had set up for themselves and that the world didn’t really see what they were doing or care about it. They were all anxious about their own reflections.
He reached the high street where they were going to meet and as they embraced each other he could not stop looking at his image in the lake and thinking about what that image was going to do. He loved her so much but he couldn’t get his own thoughts out of his head to make place for hers. He could never give attention to anybody but himself. He could not feel any moment because he was so concerned about the next. And he hated himself for it.
All he wanted was to stop hating himself. To be set free from the binds of the lake. To be able to spend just a few moments in her arms where he was not listening to his conscience. He wanted just one reckless moment that could outshine all the tiring memories he kept having of his future. He wanted one moment where he could interlock eyes with someone other than his own cold reflection. In his preoccupation, he didn’t know that she wished for the same thing and so did all the other people in Valdrada..